What if you worked as hard at relaxing as you do at exercising? You really do need both.

About 60-70% of my patients have an exercise plan that they aspire to achieve. Some people have more success that others but the majority of people have some plan of how they fit exercise into their lives.

If I ask those same people about their relaxation plan, I get blank stares. What do you mean ‘my relaxation plan?” Well, sometimes I go to yoga. I meditate from time to time. I crash on the couch and read some evenings. Is that what you mean?

What I mean is that we have to put as much intentionality into relaxing as we do into exercising. The pace of life has become so fast that if we don’t consciously carve out the time, we can end up doing something from the moment we wake until we go to sleep.

How do you define relaxation? Sometimes my husband and I argue about whether watching Netflix counts as relaxing. I say no, he says yes. Netflix is a form of disengaging from the stressors of daily life. It’s a time to get absorbed in stories, which can be a good break but it doesn’t count as nervous system decompression in my books.

Everyone has different needs and it’s up to each of us to figure out how much stillness we want to create. The relaxation I’m talking about removes all stimuli, particularly digital stimuli. It’s time to just be. Time to drink a cup of tea and ponder or take a bath and just soak. Can we relax and listen to music or read a book? Everyone has to make his/her own definition.

For me to feel my best, I need some analogue time, meaning walking in the woods, playing piano, or just sitting. I also need time in total stillness in meditation. When I schedule those time-out slots, my capacity to deal with my busy life is much enhanced.

What are you doing to carve out time for the relaxation time that’s best for you?