The pain the feels like it will obliterate us, can free us
We all have our dark corners, our shadow side that can be hard to face and meet with full presence. If you’ve been doing any type of self-growth, I’m sure you’ve encountered some pain that felt like too much. I’ve never met anyone who is living an authentic, expanded and healthy life that hasn’t had to grapple with the dark night of his/her soul. It’s just the way it goes.
As I write today, I wonder what support I can offer people who are just learning the skills to navigate this inner growth. It can be so terrifying and isolating even if we know, intellectually that it will pass, that others have similar pain. None of those platitudes are so helpful in the moment when the pain is too intense to breathe. What then?
I have some suggestions but I’d rather the answer come from many people sharing their knowing. I don’t profess to be an expert but I have been working at healing for a long time and I’ve had the privilege of sitting with some remarkable healers.
Here are some of my suggestions:
Remind yourself that you are learning to hold space for your wounded parts. Rest into your strength by connecting to your breath and the parts of your body that feel open and relaxed in throws of the emotions. You may be surprised to find that there are some relaxed places.
As you breath, ask to be supported. If you have a particular spiritual practice, call on a higher power, in any way that you conceive of it. If you don’t, just say a simple sentence like, “May my breath support me through this moment”.
Remember that each wave of emotion will peak, like a wave of the ocean. It may feel like it’s crashing you but if you can just allow it, the ‘water’ will wash over you and you will survive it. Not only will you survive but letting go of the inner resistance and allowing yourself to be as you are will strengthen you.
The more you allow, the greater your capacity will be to bear witness and stay present with. It’s worth the effort because it can open you in your life in many positive ways.
Please share, what have you learned that can help others on their healing path?