Our ideals and values about giving may not align
The holiday season is all about giving but do you ever stop to consider your true capacity before choosing how much to give?
The theory goes that giving helps the giver and the receiver. The more we give, the more the flow comes back around to us. In some cases, that’s true. It can be genuinely nourishing to give to the less privileged. Being of service is good for us and for the people we are serving. However, I see a rather significant caveat.
It doesn’t serve us to give from an empty cup. If we are giving beyond our capacity, either financially or emotionally, it will deplete us rather than fill us. At this time of year, there are so many additional social and financial demands many of which cause extreme stress. It doesn’t seem socially acceptable to decline based on our true capacity. Instead, everyone is expected to stretch him/herself, often to a breaking point.
Then we are left to clean up the mess that was created in the name of generosity and celebration. So I ask you to take an honest look at what you have to give. How much you can connect and stay balanced within yourself? How much can you give without causing yourself undue financial stress?
Create the boundaries that serve you. Some people in your life will react unfavourably. Honest self-care is sadly still outside the mainstream social paradigm. Be brave. Affirm that you really want to give and connect. Any choice to do otherwise is not personal to anyone else. Tell people you are learning to respect your own limits. Anyone who takes that personally has some growth of his/her own to do.
And most of all enjoy the connecting and giving that’s right for you.
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RELATED READING: https://yourholisticpsychologist.com/boundaries-the-ultimate-life-hack/