Question Your Mind. Use Presence to Inquire Within

Our minds tell us so many things that aren’t true. In the process, we react emotionally, which affects our relationships. A friend was reflecting on a fight he had with his wife. The next day he wondered, “Why was I upset about any of that?” The question arose, “Who was really upset?”

I laugh and tell people that in my adult self I’m reasonable, calm and non-reactive. I maintain equanimity and perspective and don’t get my feathers ruffled about too much. The problem is that I’m not always in my adult self! Few of us are as much as we would like to believe otherwise.

Most of us spend a good part of our days reacting to life through some aspect of our wounded child-selves. Only we don’t know it in the moment. When the unresolved needs of our child-self bleed forward, it feels like we are reacting to the present. It seems like we have been wronged or hurt but the reality is that most of the things that bother us reflect our inner unsettled state.

To shift our experience, we need to come into contact with what is actually bothering us. What part of us has an unmet need that is skewing our current perception? I like @byronkatie’s process of questioning the mind. It’s a useful framework. From my experience, I need to meditate in order to still my mind enough that I can question with less bias. Meditation brings me in a more neutral state. Once the grip of my reactions is settled, then I can open into a genuine inner exploration.

It takes a lot of courage to explore your inner world. Invariably you will come in contact with pain. It’s far easier to go on believing the stories your mind tells you. However, if you want to heal and live an exalted life, you need to question your mind.