Only Give What You Have To Give

All week I’ve been writing about giving and encouraging you to be realistic about your own capacity. Generosity is a wonderful trait. Giving does genuinely feed the giver and the receiver up until a point. That’s the caveat that I’m trying to bring to light.

It seems that our values about what we want to give aren’t always aligned with our true capacity. If you give ten units of energy, be it in gifts or community service, and you only have five units within you to give, how do you cover the five-unit deficit? Some people would argue that by giving to people who are needy, energy flows back to the giver. I agree with hesitation and that’s where we get into the fine print.

We can ride the wave of goodness that comes from service and gratitude to extend our capacity. If we give beyond our extended capacity, we get taxed. Our nervous system and adrenal system get burdened and our health can suffer.

The degree of health impact depends on the vitality of the giver. A health person in his/her twenties can give quite a lot beyond his/her evident capacity and likely bounce back without too much issue. If you are already dealing with any type of long-term health challenge (my list is broad in this department, e.g. depression, anxiety, digestive issue, migraines, skin conditions, musculoskeletal issues, allergies) then think twice about overextending yourself.

There’s a great gift in honesty. “I really want to be with you. I’d love to be able to help you make that dinner and the reality is that I’m so exhausted I have to rest”. When we show up in our truth, it invites others to do the same. There is definitely a way to connect, to be generous and to respect the limits of our body-mind.

Happy holidays.