Still Choosing Self-destructive Behaviours? You May Not Have Suffered Enough

It amazes me how much suffering we create by our own choices. Even when we know better, we keep falling into habits that don’t serve us. Even when we have seen that a certain choice creates unhappiness in the mind or body, we keep repeating it again and again.

If we agree that we are intelligent beings, why do we keeping making self-destructive choices? Why does she keep texting that man that keeps hurting her? Why does he keep eating that food always makes him feel sick? Why does she keep saying yes when she really means no and then gets resentful? The list is endless. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you don’t make choices that aren’t in your best interest. We all do it in one form or another.

There are so many explanations. On the surface there is always a story to get wrapped into. Since we are in the story of our lives we don’t always see that the same unhealthy pattern is repeating. We rationalize our choices and either don’t make the space to listen to our intuition or we ignore the voice that would have us make better choices.

It seems difficult for people to make the time and space to feel the needs that underlies their choices. Societally there are endless cues that would have us carry on and let things slide. The more we let things slide and don’t make the space to feel what’s really going on, the more we fall into behaviours that pacify us in the moment but don’t support our growth and fulfillment. .

It’s much easier to carry on and just roll with things. Taking the time to sit with ourselves and process what’s really going on is a lot of work! So that brings me to the observation that if you haven’t suffered enough, you won’t be sufficiently motivated to open your inner Pandora’s box.

It saddens me how much we have to suffer before we are really ready to see ourselves but it seems universally true. Until we are forced to commit to that inner work, we will choose the seemingly easier path and then be baffled that we are stuck in the same unhappiness or dis-ease.