Why do I push beyond exhaustion?

Why do I keep going and going when I'm so far beyond the point of exhaustion? I'm dizzy, I feel terrible, and yet my mind will not turn off its racing thoughts. Even when I think I'm not thinking about them, invariably I still am.
‍
So I meditate and come back to a calm place where I can release and let go. But before I know it, I'm thinking about my work again, even though I swear that I'm not going to. Even right now, in this very moment, I’m writing instead of relaxing.
‍
It’s hard to stop once there’s a certain momentum in place. It’s wonderful to be passionate about whatever we’re doing and I’m incredibly grateful that I love my work but, like everyone, I must turn my mind off.
‍
It’s ironic that by writing this post now, I'm not living in alignment with what I'm teaching. I'm not upholding the boundaries that I ought to. I'm not putting myself first because here I am, writing this post in my state of exhaustion.
‍
So the practice is about sinking into ‘who’ is driving me. It’s a lovely idea for me to say I want to share things with people, but it wouldn't really explain why I wouldn't just chill out once I'm this tired. I have to sink in, in my meditation, and come into contact with the part of me that is driving.
‍
A few days later, I revisit this post. Now I can say that I’ve succeeded in slowing down. I recognized the inner driver in me, I nourished her and I came into a much needed slower vibration.
‍
I tend to swing back and forth, from deeply grounded, calm and peaceful to intense and over-working. I come by it naturally, I grew up in an intense household. I’m a type A in recovery and I know that will be my lifelong plight.
‍
Even so, people often tell me how calm I am. I assure them that it’s learned, not innate. You can learn to be calm, centered and embodied. Just pay attention to ‘who’, within you, is driving you forward.