Intimacy Builds Community

Real, honest connections nourish and create community. At any gathering, I cherish the small moments of intimate conversation. The friend who shares what’s really happening engages me much more than the one who says, “Great thanks, how are you?”

Most people would agree that real connections feel good. What holds us back from opening up? For some it’s the fear of being judged or rejected. Others do not know how to share and express themselves openly. Even for those who are open, the walls between people can be hard to cross.

One of the things I love about kirtan gatherings, is the effortless way connections are fostered. Call-and-response chanting creates a feeling of being “in it together”.  Everyday barriers fall away and people naturally open up in spite of the social conditions that habitually separate them.

Some people feel overwhelmed in open-hearted environments. I’ve heard fears like, “These people can see right through me, I feel so exposed”. There is a natural inclination to try and hide our wounds and negative qualities but hiding creates separation.

Most often, when I find the courage to be transparent, I am met with compassion. Sharing from a true place brings healing on both sides. It feels good to see and be seen. Opening up helps me feel less alone in my struggles and more accepting of myself and others.

True acceptance goes a long way in the age of social media, which can make life look unrealistically glossy. I’ve experienced friends perceiving my life like a beautiful dream based on my Facebook pictures.  No matter how things appear on the outside, there is a different story felt inside.  The courage to share from that personal, inner place creates the type of community I want to foster.

Let’s step forward and be real so we’ll know we are on this journey together.