Don’t Wait Until You Fall on Your Head

I look up at the trees, breathe in the crisp gorge air and feel grateful to be living in nature. I realize that if I hadn’t fallen on my head in January of 2013 I wouldn’t be here. For years I knew the city wasn’t the place for me or for our kids but family and work kept us in Toronto.  Like so many city-dwellers, we just couldn’t seem to leave.

Seven months after I fell badly and landed on the back of my head, I realized I couldn’t stay in the city anymore.  Post-concussion, my senses were even more heightened than usual.  Every noise was raw on my nerves, every bright sign and neon light an assault on my eyes. I just knew in my heart that I had to leave.

Looking back, that moment was pivotal.  Within a few weeks, my husband and I discovered our dream property with very little conscious effort.  Dreams can be impractical, which this property certainly is, but we slowly overcame the obstacles and made it a reality.

In May 2014, we took possession of 10 beautiful acres just outside Dundas, Ontario.  We are building a community and making the old house into our home and a retreat center. With all the detailed planning and ongoing renovation, it’s a massive project to oversee. When I start to feel overwhelmed, I remind myself, “One day at a time. Only focus on what you can do today.” What an exercise in letting go.

Today I roamed the woods with my kids, picked salad from our garden and played music. Last week I started teaching yoga in Dundas. I’m looking forward to getting rooted in this community and growing my healing practice.

Although it’s hard to say that I’m grateful for that concussion, I’m thankful for the way my life has unfolded post-concussion. At the same time, I mourn the fact that I wasn’t able to tap into a gentler path. Repeatedly, I seem to travel the path of hard knocks. All I can do to change is make time to listen inside, follow what I hear and feel, and trust that over time I will let go of the struggle and let in more grace.