“I’m not doing enough” isn’t possible: Part II
How do you respond when you realize you haven’t measured up to your own expectations?
Next time you recognize a gap between how you’re showing up and how you wish you could, consider it an opportunity to learn more about yourself.
Within our gaps, we can find inner conflict, not just busyness or laziness. There’s a part of us that wants to take care and feel well and another part that’s not on board. That second part may be sabotaging your best efforts.
You can use willpower to get past the hump temporarily but not for long because it takes too much effort.
Ideally, we want your nurturing choices and self-care to flow naturally. To find this ease, try this process next time you’re falling short of your own expectations.
Notice the shortcoming with non-judgment language. “Oh, it’s been four days and I haven’t exercised.”
Identify how you feel. “I wish I could motivate myself to exercise. My body feels awful but I just don’t want to.”
Meet yourself with compassion. “I see how much your body needs to move and how hard it is for you to motivate yourself right now.”
Hold space for the part that’s resistant. Sit quietly, breathe and connect within. Be with yourself with an open curiosity. See if you can access what’s really going on for the part of you who’s resisting.
When you meet the part of you that’s resisting with compassion, it’s possible to see what he/she needs. Most often what’s needed is softness in the places where we tend to judge and criticise ourselves.
How would it be for you to see your struggles with compassion and trust that your shortcomings make sense rather than being indicative of personal flaws?
If you’re not able to see yourself with this compassion, reach out to me for support. It took me years to make the shift from constant self-judgment to self-compassion. I don’t keep it in every moment but now I know how to come back to being kind, and that always feels better.
P.s. Catch up on Part I of “I’m not enough” isn’t possible, if you missed it.